What becomes of the broken hearted

I never thought i's ever stop loving glen.. I never thought i'd feel for anyone what i felt for him.. I invited him to my brothers wedding and a 3 day hotel stay and just knew it wasnt going to go to plan.. I tried to give him an out a few days beforehand but he was adement he was coming and it was just like this big ball of stress i had hanging over me..



Either way i wasnt going to cancel him.. the wedding was going to be on the sunday and it came to the Friday and Cara came over to give me a hair trial.. She was currently spending time with a guy in a band who playing that night at the westminster.. and she was dead keen to go - i was hesitant but when she did my hair it looked hot and i did have a new dress to chuck on.



Before we went she was showing me pictures of the band and they all looked classically long haired and loutey.. But i was determined that i would be hooking up with one of them so that it wasnt as hard to say goodbye to Glen over the weekend.



I was pretty smashed by the time we got to the pub and i was determined to be a dirty little whore hehe.. It was quite fun there, met a couple of nice girls to chat too and then something caught my eye .. There was a guy in the band without long hair and beautiful blue eyes.. I was doing everything i could to show as little attention to him as possible.. a few shots later it was on and somehow we were screwing in a park.. go figure :>



When Glen came to the hotel the following night i couldnt even give him a hug.. a part of me was feeling like a dirty little whore having hooked up with someone so soon after meeting them and a part of me was wishing i could remember the guys name hehe



It wasnt a nice weekend with glen.. it was all off but i didnt feel any want or need to get close to him i was actually quite standoffish but i dont wanna get into the intimate details as i'd prefer too remember glen in a good light not in a bad light for the way things ended..



My heart was ripped to shreds by the time i left the hotel - I was in so much pain .. My status's on facebook were heart broken but it was like i'd made a concious decision to not let myself feel for him again and i wasn't going too.. The day after this it still hurt but i was begining too see the possibilities of what the void of glen could be filled with in my life.. Cos with him i was constantly thinking about if he was ok .. worrying about him .. not knowing where he was or if he was ok .. etc. It was a big gap too fill.. Little did i know that i'd already met the two main people that would be filling in the gaps.



So the following weekend arranged with Tammy and Candy to go to My Place to see Dan and straps followed by the Rocket Room

Happiness is the key to life and i have been feeling very happy of late .. that special someone is giving me back the nice feeling that i've always tried to give him, i'm a little excited i got lucky for the first time this year yesterday morning .. with the only person i seem to have really cared about in a long time - it was very sweet, a littl unplanned and just a quicky but i still can't believe i got him naked in the morning randomly..

baby girl ange i'm so glad you came back to me, you and jack seem to be getting along nicely - i reckon you guys would make a cute couple hee hee his so funny and you've always been a funny person yourself

I'm still having problems trusting ppl i thought about it the other day and if i had to have an exclusive party with only elitists there wouldonly be a couple of names that would be on that list ay .. can't it just be me and Sexy Beast 09

Did even mention the presets i haven't been that excited in such a long time ay .. and i was working and like nothing could bring me down that day cos i was so excited about the freaking presets being on and when they were on i was just loving it, the girl i was working with Erin was awesome and me and her were just dancing around feeling the whole thing - i think i'd like to stay in contact with her and OMG presets

Saturday was good i had to scotch fillet steaks the better of the two was the one that my brother made me at lunch time but the one i had a my place wasn't too bad either - and having 3 shots of tequilla and a cocktail sent me flying but after that i kept getting more and more free cocktails it was pretty awesome then we went to the cas for a bit of a rap

Can't believe ange finally came back still .. i've missed her so much

I've woken up early each morning over the last few days and oh my god you can get so much done when you get up in the morning .. I've been up to a lot over the past few days but i dont really think i've done anything apart from do nothing and have fun and enjoy myself - really.

I'm kinda liking chonney minus the boyfriend her small but frequent visits have become one of my favourite events of the day - no longer intimidated hehehe she loves me and so she fucking shoud, hey babe thanks for all the buckeys u shouted me over the years when ya was working at the beach pit, all the free food made me happy too don't get me wrong - so glad you always helped me out.

last bog is obviously posted american time cos its only 1.44 here and i posted it 20 mins ago

Struggle

Why does everyone always try and open me up and get my feelings out .. i am quite happy suppressing them and if one more person trys to bring them out i am going too tell them ALL of my problems and how i really feel!!

um obviously yesterdays post was just scattered ramblings that were drug induced cos a girl like me could never really have feelings.. they feel like they almost gone already